What the fuck happened last night?

So many questions from last night. I wake up in bed, not knowing how I got here. Who put me to bed last night? Did I take off my bra? Did I go to bed alone? I hope. What time did I pass out? God I hope it was early. Who are these people in my house? I am still drunk. I need to go back to bed.

My night with Pat and Keith

5 feet away. That's how far away I was from Pat of Pat McGee Band and Keith of Vertical Horizon tonight at Bristol, RI. The tiny venue lent for the intimate setting. And what a setting. It's the kind of place where, after you spill beer on yourself (klutz!) you step in line to go to the bathroom to clean up, and you're behind Keith. But in my case, I didn't realize it was Keith. Instead, I have a nice little chat with the guy about the venue, about the upstairs space (where Keith offered to write me a note for admittance), and just seemed like a nice guy. Very down to earth. Only after the concert started when Pat introduces his friend, Keith, did I realize who I had stood in line for the bathroom with! This would never have happened at any other place. Not at Paradise. Not a 9:30 club. No, this hole-in-the-wall place in Bristol where I got to meet Pat and Keith, say hello, chat a little about DC, and take a picture. What a night. The 3 hours driving there and back was worth it. What an experience!

Happy birthday to me

I had a moment on the bus today. I saw the date flash on the neon sign...April 2, 2009. Just a few hours before I turn 25. A quarter century old. And I almost felt like crying. I felt overwhelmed. It was a moment where all my concerns and failings seemed to surface, all at once. I decided to get off a stop before my usual stop because I needed to walk a little bit. Very slowly. I came to the turnoff to my home and, instead of turning, I continued walking. I thought I'd walk until I felt satisfied, maybe drained of my emotions, or at least until the Harvest Co-op. Didn't want to go too far this late at night. But then I decided to run into CVS and pick up a prescription. Hey, I might as well do something useful while I'm clearing my head. When I got to the counter, the pharmacist taking my order had to look up my information on the database. She asked for my last name, my first name, and then my DOB. I told her 4/3/84. And then she said, "Hey, it's almost your birthday. My birthday is the 4th." That brought a chuckle to me, and that snapped me out of my funk. I wished her a happy birthday and left. I guess I just needed a little bit of human contact.

So, here are my wishes for this birthday. There aren't quite 25 of them, but I'm sure I'll think of more...
1) Stop feeling sorry for myself
2) Join a gym!
3) Volunteer. And real volunteering, not fake ones
4) Cultivate better relationships
5) Plant a flower garden
6) Practice patience
7) Instead of fury, think of a calm response when faced with a situation that usually puts me in a rage
8) Find a career
9) Show appreciation to the people around me
10) Don't shy away from strangers. Be bolder
11) Be proactive rather than being passive, particularly when searching for a job
12) Have a drink by myself at a bar at least once. Stop feeling awkward
13) Update this blog more often. Keep a journal

...

Well, the rest will come to me later.

Currently listing to: The sounds of the 39 bus passing by
Currently procrastinating from: Eating dinner

Oh yeah, and 14) Stop procrastinating

Hopes

Happy New Year, everyone. May 2009 be better than last year. I wish you good friends, good health, good relationships, and good advice.

While 2008 couldn't have finished in a more fucked up manner, here's to hoping that 2009 will be equally fabulous.

And here's to comeuppance on to those who deserve it.


Currently procrastinating from: sleeping my first night in 2009
Currently listening to: howling of the wind

"You've got to love Wes Welker"

For making a snow angel after a 11-yard touchdown. He was bringing out the kid in him, of course. An unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, he did not deserve.

It was so great seeing him celebrate like a kid when he's usually so business-like and very professional. I don't think anyone can fault him for the TD celebration. I mean, come on, he just made the Pro Bowl for the first time this week!

He is one class act.

Link to video: http://www.nfl.com/videos?videoId=09000d5d80d804e4

Have you ever sneezed so hard you started hallucinating?

Really, it's quite an experience. You're still dizzy from the last big sneeze you had and then you start seeing objects that shouldn't be there.

Watching Californication has inspired me to update my blog. But I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute, no tirade about a current event, no witty insight. No, just me and my sneezy nose.

Living in JP really has its perk. I can walk up a block or two to run an errand, stop by the ATM, and grab lunch. It's a great time of year to be out in the neighborhood and seeing others out and about too. It's got a great vibrant vibe that I'm still adjusting to. I'm not entirely comfortable yet, probably because I still view myself as an outsider than a resident. I need to stop doing that; stop being a viewer and be a participant.

Growing up

It's always bittersweet to see the updates of my high school friends on Facebook. It's so interesting to see where old friends are, where they are in their lives. And at the same time, I see where they are in their lives (getting married, in grad school) and it's making me realize how little I've done since graduating. It's now been 2 years and I haven't changed that much since coming out of Wellesley. The highlight was the Deerfield fellowship, and now I'm still at my same job for 2 years. Which isn't bad. It's great for stability and I wouldn't want that taken away from me. Yet, I guess I'm feeling remorse that I don't have something more to show - like being in a committed relationship, or working towards a degree, or building a home, or something like that. And then another part of me realizes that I'm still 24 years old - I'm still in my early 20s (barely) - and this is the time to dwaddle if there ever is a time. How grown up do I want to be? All the grown up responsibilities I'm dealing with - paying bills, loans, worrying about car insurance - is as much responsibility I can handle. Do I need more? But maybe it's not necessarily "growing up" I'm unsatisfied with, perhaps it's more of a life change - or evolution - I'm looking for. That's probably the better term. I feel I'm still in a rut. And while I don't necessarily need to be a grown up to alter that, I do want to move on to my next phase in life, whatever that may be. (Pole dancer?)