Doing a 180

It's been a blur of events since my last post.

I've decided it's over with A & D. D already knows - I called it off on Friday night because I knew this wasn't going to progress into anything. (Also, he has a very hairy chest - ew! I really wouldn't be able to stand that. Anyways, I digress...)
I haven't spoken with A this weekend so I'll have to come up with something for the next time he calls. Poor timing all around.

So G and I hung out on Friday and hit it off right away. I'm not going to go into details but I had an amazing time, and still am. We went out again tonight and it just affirms that I'm doing something good for myself. I'm having a blast hanging out with G. TF pretty much figured out what was going on - one of them saw me head out to dinner with G tonight. So when I came to speak with them later tonight they had already figured out what happened, which took out the shock for everyone, so it was good. Almost even anti-climatic, which is what I ultimately wanted. I can deal with TF knowing about G and me, it's just dealing with everyone else out there that'll be the tough part. I think there will be some surprises, some people who won't know how to handle it, and some who will question me. I'm not looking forward to those because ultimately I just want to live my life as I please, but I'll inevitably have to face the questions/criticisms.

I'm still nervous at how this relationship will go. I don't want to over-analyze it and have it turn out to be completely the opposite. It's unclear grounds right now.

So yes, the weekend was especially busy. Quick recap: I talked with A before he left on Friday, called it off with D a few hours later, and got together with G the same night; celebrated Br's birthday with out of town friends on Saturday, got a call from AD that night, turned him down again, saw G again that night, and went out to dinner with G on Sunday. I love 3-day weekends.

I got a voicemail from D while I was at dinner with G tonight. He wanted me to call back when I got a chance. Yeah, I don't think so. Although I'm curious to see what he had to say. We'll see what he does, but no, I'm not returning that call.

Currently procrastinating from: writing my essay for the fellowship applications. I need to get them into Prof. McN by Tuesday. Damn.

Currently listening to: "Better Days" by Goo Goo Dolls on repeat. I am addicted.

Woody Allen, eat my shorts

Match Point is possibly the worst date movie you could go on. I know this because I walked out of it tonight.
But I guess I should first set up the scene. The movie, if you haven't already seen it, is about an affair Jonathan R-M has with Scarlett Johansson. So right away you know there's hot and heavy action going on. However, I carelessly didn't realize that when I chose the movie for tonight. I just wanted to go to the movies, have minimal talking, and end the date. But no, D wanted to meet earlier to talk over coffee first, then the theater is completely empty so we can talk all we want, and all this time you have sensual SJ getting eaten up by J R-M. It also didn't help that I knew I wanted to stop seeing D even before tonight. However, B thought it would be a good idea to see him. Note to self: Do not go by B's advice on guys.
Instead, I uncomfortably fidgeted in my chair as D got closer and closer to me. I put on the telltale signs (or at least what I would think are): my arms were crossed, my legs were crossed away from him, I made minimal eye contact, etc. I was trying to make a point! And all this time I'm cursing Woody Allen for making this movie. So finally I made a lame excuse about how this was a horrible movie and that we should leave. He was up for it and finally FINALLY I got back home. Of course, not before I had to pull the "let me check my calendar" stunt about meeting up on Sunday. I hate not being straightforward. I always prided myself in being straightforward, but do you know how incredibly difficult it is to be when you're in a situation like that. How do I explain that "No, I'm not interested in you, D. In fact I'm deciding between two other options right now, which, coincidentally, don't include you."? Awkward awkward awkward. So now I have to deal with calling him and canceling on him over the phone. I hate to do that. How do I go about doing this? Is there no way of avoiding the awkwardness?
That's it. No more dating for me.

Oh, in other news: I called G. I had to let it out and talk. I'm still shaking from our conversation, but it's good. It's very good.

Procrastinating from: some HIST 251 reading, but it's not due till Friday. Anyways, I've got way too much on my mind right now. Ha!

A busy weekend

It's been one hell of a week.

I met up with two responders of my CL post on Wednesday and Saturday. And can I just say, why the hell can't guys turn off their cell phones? Why must they keep them on, and even answer them when you're meeting someone, and presumably trying to make a good first impression. Why the unnecessary interruptions, eh? Must I know how "cool" you are because someone's always trying to talk to you?
Ok, rant over. Both guys, now to be addressed as D and A, respectively, were nice although I'm more interested in A. However, it seems D is more serious about this and he's more about moving the relationship along. We were going to meet up again today but there's apparently a blizzard going on outside. Yesterday, A made the nonsensical comment: "I'll call you sometime" at the end of our meeting (I refuse to call them dates). Ugh. What the hell does that mean? I thought we had fun, but perhaps not. I told myself I wouldn't be one of those girls and try to analyze every word/phrase and tie myself to the phone hoping he'll call. And I won't. I'll stop that now. Right now.
So D and I rescheduled for Wednesday, slyly bypassing Valentine's Day on Tuesday. Good move.

Last night was the Underground Dyke Ball hosted in Dower. It was an amazing production, with the highlight possibly being that Campus Po had no way of breaking up the party because technically nothing was going on. It was already swinging when we arrived at about 11, properly wasted and ready to dance. The place was packed, the tiny "dancing floor"/ie Dower's living room was crowded and overheated. But it was the making of a great Dyke Ball. B showed up with JJ, H, and other rowers including G who I was especially interested in seeing that night. There was a lot of dancing and I think there's a mutual attraction, but I don't know if I'm just imagining things because of wishful thinking. Why am I attracted to G? And do I really want something to come out of this?

Strangeness. I'm trying to wrap my head around all the new developments from this past week.

A shout out: Happy 19th Birthday to my little sister, M!

Currently procrastinating from: Finishing my summer fellowship applications. I hate writing personal essays.

Currently listening to: Kelly Clarkson

You and me, and apparently everyone else out there

Apparently everyone is out to get me.
No, I'm not being paranoid, I'm just snippy that my first choice in a blog name has already been taken. And for no good reason! I tried two different combinations: justyouandme.blogspot and itsjustyouandme.blogspot but they're both taken and the last posts on these sites date back to 2004. So the domain names have been given away but they're not being put to use. Damnit, just give it to me! I'll use it!
I have a certain affiniation to these combos because they happen to be very closely tied to my name. No, Jocykes isn't my real name. Yes, the "you and me" phrase can be seen as a corny, cutesy wording all about love and soulmates and other bs, but I'm not like that! Seriously, it's so appropriate for me.

Currently procrastinating from: reading for history class again from Indians and Colonists at the Crossroads of Empire by Timothy J. Shannon. Got about 100+ pages to go tonight.

F-truck shenanigans

So B called tonight inviting me out with a bunch of people for a drink. We were going to take the 10:00 Senate bus so I figured since it was late, not many people would be on this bus. More likely, people took the earlier buses to take full advantage of the young Saturday night.

Wrong.

Or at least, we got stuck with an exceptionally obnoxious bunch of people. There were two distinguishable groups that were causing the greatest annoyances. One of them got on my nerves even before getting on the bus. They were overly loud, rude first years speaking at about 3x the normal volume. They would not end this one conversation about the difference between "bell" and "bail." Just shut up, damn it. We don't care that you can pronounce them the same way with an accent. And you really don't need to talk that loudly when your friend is 2 inches away, or for that long about this stupid topic. They were especially annoying because one of the girls was the girl I almost got in a fight with. It still makes my blood boil each time I see her.
The second group became a problem right as we sat down. They had obviously pre-partied before getting on and continuing their pre-partying right on the bus with their multiple bottles of Coke and Diet Coke (clandestinely hiding rum). They all had the tell-tale signs of Big Party Getup: hair perfectly straightened, wearing cutsey tight clothes, overly worked makeup, talking about what they'll do once arriving at Party, quickly downing as much alcohol as possible. This last one was quite amusing to watch. One girl in particular who refused to sit down in her seat but instead insisted on leaning backwards across the aisle so she could swish her newly-straightened hair in her friend's lap made the most dramatic face as she gulped rum from the Coke bottle. She would make a dramatic face and then chase it down with some Coke. God, was I ever this young and immature?

The rest of the night was pretty fun. We went to this place on Mass Ave, I've already forgotten the name. It's Something St. It was classier than the bars I usually go to. We ordered drinks and appetizers, fun was had all around. It was JJ, H, B, Barb, and me. They're a pretty fun group, especially JJ and Barb, but sometimes I feel weirdly put out. I don't normally hang out with them on campus; we seem to hook up more when we go out. It's not that I would mind if we hung out more (except H who can be quite annoying), but we don't normally run in the same crowd on campus. Weird how that is. [Note to self: B is not as fun when she's drunk. She's bordering on "obnoxious drunk."] While it was a fun night, I would have appreciated a bit more "bar" scene rather than a sit-down. When I go out, I want to meet and mingle among other people. That's what I miss from DC. However, it seems like the perfect place for a first-date if that ever comes around.

Just finished reading: Olive's Ocean, a Newbery Honor Book. I don't understand why it was an Honor book, I didn't find it especially well-written or had a powerful message. It's one of those feel good enders. One thing I did find interesting was that it was written by a guy on a topic I normally expect from women writers. Oh, and also that I now like the name "Tate."

Currently procrastinating from: Sleep. And my HIST 306 & 251 readings. Damn school - always in the way.

The meat market

So, I finally caved and posted a personal ad on CraigsList Boston this afternoon. Surprisingly I got several responses in a 4 hour period. I was really excited when I saw the full inbox, but only came up with a few serious contentions. Really, I'm freaked by the whole cyber-dating thing. Sure, we'll trade several emails between us but really, can you trust what that person is saying?
And this has me thinking about how I present myself to the outside world, as in how I phrased certain things in my ad, what information I chose to share on the World Wide Web, etc. Am I subconsciously characterizing myself to the standards of what society has deemed attractive? Unfortunately, yes. Yes, I worded a few phrases so it seems like I'm a fun-loving undergrad who's athletic with a fun personality, so naturally I would be a beauty. I want to say that last part was unintentional, but who am I kidding? For my defense, everything I said on the ad was true. It's just that I can just imagine the image of the gal guys got when reading my post, and yes I intentionally steered them in that direction.

Should I be mortifed that I succumbed and posted a personal ad? Does that cry of desperation?

Sadly, I think the answers are ringingly clear.


Nevertheless, if anything interesting comes up, I'll post about it.